Preschooler Interview

So this is going around Facebook and I thought I'd do it here instead:

Preschooler TEST,thought this would be fun to see. No coaching, just asking! (Real answers) Write down the first thing they say.

What is your full name? Jasper Alan Charles Thompson
How old are you? Four
When is your birthday? (laughs) Um... I don't know. I say, Paw Patrol.
How old is your Mommy? 45
How old is your Mama? 35
How old is your Daddy? 49 (He's 39)
How old is your Dada? I say, 36
What is your favorite color? Green
What is your favorite food? Broccoli (LOL he won't eat veggies)
Who is your best friend? Kayley. He's coming to my house, too.
What is your favorite song?  Hmm. I don't know my favorite song. Monkey monkey monkey!
What is your favorite animal? Monkey!
What are you scared of? Ghosts!
What makes you happy? Ghosts!
Where is your favorite place to to go? Going on a walk!
What do you want to be when you grow up? I say, my tummy is full. And I have a baby on my tummy!

Bonus comment from him: "What is your favorite toots?"

Conversation: November 15, 2016 (There's a bug on your shirt!)

Mama: Hi Jasper.
Jasper: Hi. What are we doing today?
Mama: Well, I thought that we could have a conversation.
Jasper: What's a conversation? I burped.
Mama: A conversation is a time when I talk and then you talk and then I talk and we go back and forth talking, talking, talking!
Jasper: What does a cat do?
Mama: A cat is a furry animal that likes to chase toys and snuggle on the couch. We have three cats.
Jasper: Do you know a dog?
Mama: I know lots of dogs.

*pause*

Mama: Jasper, what did you do at school today?
Jasper: I played and played and played and played and played and played.
Mama: Oh. What sorts of things did you play?
Jasper: I played with JT and Finn.
Mama: What games did you play?
Jasper: I don't know.  Art and carpet toys.
Mama: Did you learn anything new today?
Jasper: Yes!
Mama: What did you learn?
Jasper: About turkeys!
Mama: Ooooh. I like turkeys. What do you know about turkeys?
Jasper: Eating turkeys!
Mama: Do you want to eat turkey?
Jasper: No thanks.
Mama: What kinds of food do you like?
Jasper: Cheese pizza, please.
Mama: Well. We aren't eating food right now, because we already had dinner. Maybe we can have cheese pizza another time.
Jasper: Um, fish sticks?
Mama: You like fish sticks, too?
Jasper: Yes.
Mama: What is your favorite thing to drink?
Jasper: Milk!
Mama: Oh, I like milk too. The milk we drink comes from cows.
Jasper: And we eat ice cream.
Mama: That's right, we like ice cream too.
Jasper: Um, okay. Let's pretend to be chickens.
Mama: Bwaaaaaaaaaaaak buk buk buk buk buk
Jasper: I changed my mind. Stand up.
Mama: *stands up*
Jasper: Now I changed my mind. Sit down.
Mama: *sits down*
Jasper: Now I changed my mind again! Stand up!
Mama: No. I'm not standing up again.
Jasper: Are you ready? Let's pretend. Pretend there is a bug on your nose. Wiggle it off!
Mama: *wiggles nose*
Jasper: Wiggle it off and laugh!
Mama: *wiggles nose and laughs loudly*
Jasper: That tiny fox! The tiny bug flew in your mouth! Blow it!
Mama: *blech blech*
Jasper: BLOW IT!
Mama: *blows*
Jasper: Blow it harder!
Mama: *BLOWWWWWWWWWWW*
Jasper: Wait! That tiny tickly bug is on your shirt!
Mama: *screams*
Jasper: The only way to get it off is to do the chicken dance!
Mama: Seriously? You want me to do the chicken dance?
Jasper: Yes. Say buk buk buk buk buk!
Mama: *sings and dances the chicken dance*
Jasper: DANCE FASTER!!!
Mama: *dances super fast*
Jasper: THE TINY WIGGLY BUG IS STUCK ON YOUR SHIRT!  Don't worry. Pretend there's a giant hungry frog it can eat the tiny tickly bug stuck on your shirt. GRIBBIT! RIBBIT!  Uh oh... there really IS A GIANT HUNGRY FROG! Scare him away!
Mama: How?
Jasper: Because you have to scare him away!
Mama: But how can I scare him?
Jasper: You have to scare him like a scary face!
Mama: *makes scary face* LIKE THIS?!?!
Jasper: *laughs*

Uh, what?

Scene: At the dinner table tonight. Mommy, Mama, and Jasper are all eating silently. Suddenly, Jasper looks up.

Jasper: I have some bad news.
Mama: (Looks at Mommy and back to Jasper) Uh, okay, what's the bad news?
Jasper: Kevin. Tiberius.
Mama: K...Kevin? Kevin Tiberius?
Jasper: No. Just Tiberius.
Mama: What about him?
Jasper: He fly.
Mama: He flew?
Jasper. (Nods seriously)
Mama: (Looks at Mommy and bursts out laughing)
Mama: (To Jasper) Is there a Tiberius at your school?
Jasper: No.

Jasper's Story

Once upon a time, it was a sunny day. Suddenly, he had realized two other things to do. So James came very happy and ten hours later it turned on. Aw, come on. That again? Do you know the words? He had a box up to a tree. So he opened the door, and said, "Moms, I don't have a big box." And the other things. So he pulled and pulled and he opened the door and he said, "Mom! I found a box!" And they lived happily ever after. The End.

On Super Mario Bros. and Perfectionists

Two Super Mario Bros. interactions for you. 1) Jasper asked me to play so I was pretending I didn't know how to get over an obstacle. "RUN!" he instructed. I showed him that Mario was running but getting nowhere. "I am," I said, smirking. "JUMP!" he shouted, demonstrating for me and pointing at the television. I made Mario stop running and instead jump up and down. "I am. It's not working," I lamented, giggling to myself. "SKIP!!!!" he yelled, jumping and throwing his hands into the air. Well... yeah. It's skipping. I skipped. "You did it!!! Great job, Mama!" Jasper congratulated me. Lol I had a great teacher. 2) Jasper was playing the game himself, and managed to get further along in the game than ever before before his character died and he got a game over. "Wow, you did a great job, Jasper, you-" He cut me off. "No. No I didn't." "Yeah buddy, you got fur-" "No." "Listen to my words," I encouraged him. "You made it further in the game than you ever have before! You are learning, and that is good, and you can do better next time! That IS a good job!" "No," he grunted. "I can be PERFECT." Uh oh. I think we're in for a rough academic existence.

Cookies

Jasper: "Can I have a cookie please?"
Mama: (hands Jasper a cookie)
Jasper: "Oh Happy Day!"

Trying Chicken Salad - June 1, 2016

Jasper: What do talk about?
Mama: I don't know. What do you want to talk about?
Jasper: He want to talk about... grammyanplace.
Mama: What does that mean?
Jasper: NO.
Mama: Can you spell it?
Jasper: Gr..  but that's the right place!
Mama: I... don't know what you're saying.  HEY.  Do you want to try some chicken salad?
Jasper: Yes.
Mama: (goes and gets chicken salad out of fridge. Gives Jasper a bite)
Jasper: EW. (refuses bite)  YOU EAT IT.
Mama: (takes a bite)  Now you take a bite!
Jasper: (Covers face with hands, accidentally knocks bite onto his legs. Ponders the food on his legs, then puts it in his mouth. Dramatically gags. Continues eating off of his fingers.) Mmm.
Mama: Great, now eat the rest of the bite!
Jasper: (Does all the kid anti-eating things a kid does)
Mama: YOU LIKED IT THREE SECONDS AGO. Never Mind.
Jasper: (Runs away)
Mama: GO PICK THREE BOOKS FOR BED!


You can try this chicken salad too! Here's the recipe.

Conversation: May 31, 2016

Mama: What do you want to talk about?
Jasper: Daddy and Dada.
Mama: What about your dads? Where do your dads live?
Jasper: They live in the cave.
Mama: Oh really? Where is their cave?
Jasper: They live on the house.
Mama: Do they live in a cave or a house?
Jasper: A house!
Mama: What color is their house?
Jasper: What starts with reh, reh?
Mama: I don't know.
Jasper: Can you spell R?
Mama: (I type R)
Jasper: Red! (Their house is yellow) What else? Hmm.
Mama: What did you have for dinner tonight?
Jasper: Have corn dog bites!
Mama: Do you like corn dog bites?
Jasper: Yes! Are you sure? Yeh- yeh, what starts with yeh?  YES!
Mama: What did you do with Mama tonight?
Jasper: He plays on the computer!
Mama: No, where did we go?
Jasper: We going to the stores.
Mama: How many stores did we go to?
Jasper: We got three stores! (holds up three fingers)
Mama: What did we buy at the stores?
Jasper: They walk the stores.
Mama: What does that mean?
Jasper: I don't know. He has enough money.
Mama: You have money?
Jasper: No! We are going to the .. did you know that the... what else? STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE!
Mama: I am not picking my nose. Where did you go this morning? Where did Mama take you?
Jasper: He take you the ... hmm.
Mama: Where did I take you this morning before I went to work?
Jasper: You walk the work.
Mama: What?  (he gets off his chair)  Are you done?
Jasper:  (running away) Yes!

First Camping Trip - May 29-30

Mama: Hey, we just got back from a camping trip. Your very FIRST camping trip. Did you have a good time?
Jasper. Yes! Hmm. Um. He wants a toy.
Mama: Well. Tell me, what was your favorite thing about camping?
Jasper. Hmm. The door.
Mama: You liked the tent door? The swinging door?
Jasper. No.
Mama: Well, what then? What did you like best?
Jasper. Hmm. Um. He wants a little square.
Mama: You are not making any sense. Did you like the campfire?  Did you like going on a walk? Did you like peeing outside? Did you like sleeping in a tent? Did you like it when it rained? What was your favorite part?
Jasper. Hmm. Um.. He wants a little rectangle.
Mama: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Did you like your sleeping bag?
Jasper. YES!
Mama: That was your favorite part? The sleeping bag and mattress?
Jasper. Yes! Hmm. Um. (I didn't type it.) HMM, UM. (looks at me pointedly) 
Mama: You don't have to say Hmm Umm every time.
Jasper. HMM, UMM.
Mama: (types hmm umm)
Mommy: Jasper, did you like touching that fish?
Jasper: Yes!
Mommy: Did you like playing baseball?
Jasper. Yes!
Mama: What did you NOT like? What was a bad thing about camping?
Jasper:  What starts with "buh, buh?"
Mama: I do not know.
Jasper: It Was A Bad Day.
Mama: Jasper, that is a book. We are talking about camping. Okay, we're done. Go away.
Jasper: NO!
Mama: Then tell me, what do you think about camping?
Jasper: Can you spell Hmm? ( I type it) Can you spell Um? (I type it, he walks away and plays Cinderella movie)

P.S. Read about the camping trip here.

Conversation: May 28, 2016

Mama: Jasper, what should we talk about?
Jasper: Um, Miss Tiffany.
Mama: What about her?
Jasper: Um, she talk.
Mama: She talk?
Jasper: Yes!
Mama: What did you do today?
Jasper: Um, play!
Mama: What did you play with?
Jasper: Um, play!
Mama: Right, but what did you play with?
Jasper: Oh. A monster carrot.
Mama: A monster carrot?  Wow. I did not see a monster carrot today at our house.  Where did you find a monster carrot?
Jasper: Hmm. [something something] monster carrot!!
Mommy: (to Mama) Oh, you remember, it's on that little short movie, with the zombie carrot.
Jasper: THAT'S RIGHT!
Mama: Ooookay.  Let's talk about the sprinkler. Did you have fun with the sprinkler?
Jasper: Yes! By run.
Mama: You ran?
Jasper: I run! Yes.
Mama: What else? What else did you do with the sprinkler?
Jasper: I run the sprinkler! And I run the water! Yes.
Mama: Where were we playing with the sprinkler?
Jasper: Hmm. Whoa. That was a nice one. NO. (laughs) OH. NO LADY. What? Ummmmmmmmmmm.... A carrot?

(At this point I realized he was just reading what I was typing, so I changed the topic.)

Mama: Hey, what did you eat for dinner tonight?
Jasper: Hmmm. A tater tot!
Mama: You had that for lunch. What did you have for dinner?
Jasper: OH! I remembered a clue! Umm... something... with dinner...
Mama: What did you have for dinner?
Jasper: I have corn dog bites! And tater tot! And rice!
Mama: Okay. You DID have tater tots, but that was in your tater tot casserole at lunchtime.  At dinner you did not have corn dog bites, you had a HOT dog, and rice.  Did you like the rice? You have never eaten just rice before.
Jasper: Yes!

Proof of this kid eating rice voluntarily.
Shirt says: Party Never, Read Forever

Mama: What did you have to drink?
Jasper: I drink juice!
Mama: Yeah, you had the flavored water juice you like.
Jasper: Oh. He has no way.
Mama: What does that mean?
Jasper: Hmmm. It's a monster. Whoa. That's a witch. Yes! That's the witch we need. WATCH OUT! It's a VAMPIRE!  Yes. It's a ghost.
Mama: Are you talking about a youtube video that you like?
Jasper: Yes. I like videos!

Monster Slippers
Later he came back in the room humming the Imperial March.

Mama: What slippers are you wearing right now?
Jasper: I wearing Monsters Inc! I'm wearing Monsters Inc. slippers!
Mama: What color are they?
Jasper: They are green! And they are brown! Someone else is coming!  It's black! What you talk about? Well, that was nice monster machines. Whoa. Thanks for your help. NO PROBLEM!  I did another clue! (coughs) Another blig blocks? And another blink box? WHAT IS GOING ON? All aboard! Alvin! Cowboy! Gogo! I need your help! Did you get slime boxes?

(Here he started reciting whatever show he was talking about so fast I lost track)

Mama: Okay, are we done?
Jasper: Yes.
Mama: Did you have a good day?
Jasper: Yeah.
Mama: Are you ready for bed?
Jasper: NO. We just watching.
Mama: What are you watching?
Jasper: I'm watching Monsters Inc. Whoa, that wasn't Monsters Inc. UH OH, what's happening here? Hmm.. It's a.... Mr. Violet!
Mama: Okay, get out of here! Gimme a kiss!

(He kisses me on both cheeks, then says, "Mwah, Mwah, Nice to SEE you!" and runs away, presumably to find the Monsters Inc DVD and play it.)