Because of these things, we had Jasper tested for behavioral disorders. He did very well at the testing, his patience lasting much longer than they expected. A week or two later, we met with the specialists who'd spent time with Jasper. They told us that he was not on the autism spectrum. He does, however, have sensory processing disorder as well as "other specified anxiety disorder." Basically he is oversensitive to touch, smell, taste, the feelings of food in his mouth, loud noises, and bright lights.
He also has anxiety about these things, as well as about general situations. They said that he needs to know everything about everything. When he doesn't know what to expect, he has anxiety. Because of this, Jasper displays rigidity in behavior in many areas of his life. They said that this could turn into OCD later in life, and strongly encouraged us to use spontaneity as a tool to overcome anxieties about unknown situations.
While he will thrive and feel secure on schedules, it's important to break away from those as well in order to show him that sometimes not everything works out how we'd like, and how to cope with these changes. They also suggested sensory integration (working to overcome some of his strongest sensory aversions) therapy.
He is very bright and scored in the 99th percentile in several areas - specifically language and visual memory areas. His processing speed, however, is pretty low in comparison to his strengths. Sometimes this is displayed in his inattentive behavior. He is still processing something from anywhere from a few minutes ago to a month ago. Perhaps a new experience has triggered a memory and he is trying to make a connection but it takes a moment. They also said that we should keep an eye on his ADHD-like behavior, and while it was fairly normal for a child his age, if it continued well into school we should have him re-evaluated.
Right now it seems like his biggest issues to work with are his SPD and his anxiety. Because I myself have anxiety and some OCD, there is a double-edged sword of being able to understand how he feels but also wanting to avoid the same things he does. So it's something we have to work on together, but on the bright side, I already have a lot of coping mechanisms and have been teaching him these as I've noticed similar behavior in him. One of the resources mentioned was to look into "conscious discipline" to help him find ways to self-calm.
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How does his SPD or anxiety emerge in everyday behavior?
- Every morning he must get dressed faster than me or he has a massive meltdown and cannot function enough to finish getting dressed unless I let him "win" putting on shoes or something. No amount of discussion or talk of poor losing/winning makes it better. This is more than just a pout; it's a deep despair and disappointment in himself. Forget losing board games. Mind you, when I'M the one losing, he very gently says, "It's okay, sweetie, maybe you'll win next time, honey!" So he's hearing what we're saying, he's just having trouble handling the emotions.
- He has to eat his vitamins in a particular order, every single day.
- When he uses the bathroom, he prefers the light be off, no matter the time of day.
- When he flushes our toilet, he flushes it and runs away. In public bathrooms, he has a small panic attack when I insist on closing the door to the bathroom, if it's a one-toilet one. I use the toilet first, and then open the door while he uses it. If it is a stall, his door must stay open. He holds his hands over his ear and tries to flee whenever the toilet gets flushed. Sometimes he insists I do it, if he remembers that particular bathroom having loud toilets.
- At a basketball game, he insisted I hold my hands over his ears the entire game, because he couldn't predict when the buzzer was going to sound or an announcer would be on the microphone. I was so mad at myself for forgetting to bring ear plugs or headphones of some sort because I'd completely forgotten that this bothered him.
- Bathtime has been a major struggle his entire life. Even after he started swim lessons, his fear of water touching his head became so severe I bought him goggles to help. He loves water. He loves to play in it, to splash it, to pour it, to swish it around, etc, but if it comes anywhere near his head he loses his mind. I have sent him into full-on panic attacks just by rinsing his hair, even with a washcloth or goggles on his eyes. It took him about a year to trust us enough to do a 3-second back float with his head barely touching the water, and that's the only way we can rinse his hair now, and even then it takes several tries because he panics when his head touches the water.
- If we do something one way one time EVER, we have to do it that exact same way every single time forever.
- One of the first words he learned in relation to food was "more." The next was "napkin." He cannot stand to have his hands or face dirty. That being said, if anyone other than him attempts to clean his face with a washcloth or napkin, it incites anxiety and occasionally he will run away before allowing you to touch him. If you ever see my son with a dirty face it's because that is a battle I chose not to fight that day.
- Large crowds are too much. He needs to be prepared for situations that might overwhelm ANY of his senses, and crowds cover sight, sound, and touch, as well as fear of being separated. I took him to a baby shower last weekend with about thirty people in one room. Before we walked in, I told him that there were a lot of people but that they were very nice and I would be holding his hand the whole time. The instant we walked in the door he fell to the floor and huddled in a fetal position, covering his eyes and ears. It took several minutes to convince him to stand up and come sit in a chair with me. Once he was in his designated seat, he was totally fine because he knew what to expect, no one was touching him, the noise level had remained fairly calm, and he was raised to a height that put him at less of a disadvantage, with everyone also now seated.
There are many, many, many more examples of this, but I'm sure you get the idea. I'm currently looking for sensory integration activities at home. What are some ways that we can introduce him to some of the things that cause him anxiety, and help him work through them? We have begun gardening again, and have been attempting more spontaneity in our free time behavior.
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Here are some pictures of some indoor gardening work we did this past weekend, Planting seeds! First we cut out and glued together tiny signs to indicate which seeds were which.
Then it was time to spread the dirt. He insisted on using gloves that I'd bought for myself, but once he realized they didn't work very well and actually got dirtier than my hands, he took them off. The dirt was fairly dry and just brushed off, so he brushed off his hands every single time he took a handful of dirt.
By the end of the process, he'd filled about one-third of that seed planter, and then helped me plant about half the seeds before he had to rush to the sink to wash off his hands.
I'm looking forward to the weather getting warmer so we can work outside a little more on the weekends. Both of us could use the force out of our routine!
